Yayāti, Devayānī, Śarmiṣṭhā, and the Exchange of Youth: The Unsatisfied Nature of Desire
तं वीरमाहौशनसी प्रेमनिर्भरया गिरा । राजंस्त्वया गृहीतो मे पाणि: परपुरञ्जय ॥ २० ॥ हस्तग्राहोऽपरो मा भूद् गृहीतायास्त्वया हि मे । एष ईशकृतो वीर सम्बन्धो नौ न पौरुष: ॥ २१ ॥
taṁ vīram āhauśanasī prema-nirbharayā girā rājaṁs tvayā gṛhīto me pāṇiḥ para-purañjaya
With words brimming with love, Devayānī said: “O King, conqueror of hostile cities! By taking my hand, you have accepted me as your wife. Let no other touch my hand; O hero, this bond between us is ordained by the Lord, not wrought by human might.”}]}}
While taking Devayānī out of the well, King Yayāti must certainly have appreciated her youthful beauty, and therefore he might have asked her which caste she belonged to. Thus Devayānī would have immediately replied, “We are already married because you have accepted my hand.” Uniting the hands of the bride and bridegroom is a system perpetually existing in all societies. Therefore, as soon as Yayāti accepted Devayānī’s hand, they could be regarded as married. Because Devayānī was enamored with the hero Yayāti, she requested him not to change his mind and let another come to marry her.
This verse frames marriage as a binding acceptance—“you have taken my hand”—implying duty, protection, and accountability once one has accepted a spouse.
In the narrative of Canto 9, Śarmiṣṭhā reminds Yayāti that he has accepted her by the rite of taking her hand, establishing a real bond and corresponding obligation.
Do not treat relationships as casual once commitment is made; honor promises and accept the responsibilities that come with chosen bonds.